Over at his place we had a great talk about how Obama just wasn’t up to the job of being POTUS. "He takes all this credit for getting Bin Laden," he said, his eyes blazing with righteous anger. "People seem to forget I made it possible for him to do that by starting those wars in the first place."
I asked him how he thought the Ryan/Biden debate would shake out.
“Ol’ Rathole is gonna take him easy,” he said, flashing that winning f-you smile we all miss so much.
“Rathole” is George W.’s nickname for Ryan. George has a nickname for everybody. Turd Blossom for Karl Rove is one of my favorites.
“Why Rathole?” I asked. “How do you come up with these great nicknames?”
“I just do,” he said with a jaunty shrug. “I just look at a person and a name pops into my head. Ryan just makes me think ‘Rathole’.”
“What’s my nickname going to be?” I asked, hoping for the best.
“I’m havin’ a little bit of trouble with you,” he admitted. “Maybe cause you’re such a recent convert and all. When I get it in my mind, I’ll text you.”
Then, to my utter surprise, he abruptly stood, whipped off his belt, and handed it to me.
“That’s yours, my man,” he said, grinning at me. “Now I got some sh*t to do, and you need to put that on and get to work becoming Republican.”
Ripping off my belt, I threaded his around me. It was thick and wide and I could barely get it through my pant loops. You could just tell the leather had come from a big ol' mean son-of-a-bitchin' rodeo bull.
Fastening it, I felt a ferocious white heat encircle my waist, burning hottest at the buckle.
Ah, yes. The buckle. What was depicted on the buckle you ask?
A battleship. And emblazoned over the image of the ship, italicized in capital letters the words MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Wow, right?
I can hardly wait to get my nickname!
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