A Number You Can Believe In

Four days ago, when I was still a Democrat, I pretty much believed government statistics.  

They explained a lot.  For example, if you wondered why everyone seemed to wear the same jeans and T-shirts from WalMart, government statistics told you the median household income in the U.S.A. was $51,914.  All those cheap Chinese-made clothes suddenly made sense.

But now, as a Republican, I can see that government statistics are non-sense.  Take the new unemployment report that came out yesterday, the one that said it's now 7.8%, down from 8.1% last month.   I mean, come on!   Do Democrats think we're stupid?

Government employees want to keep their jobs, right?  Of course they do, especially in the Obama economy.  They know that Romney will fire them all on the first day.  And who's going to hire a bunch of government economists when they hit the streets looking for work?  Nobody, that's who.  

Think about it.  If your dear leader does a terrible, lazy job in the election debates, what's the first thing you do as a government employee?   You stay up all night screwing with the Excel spreadsheet until you get the unemployment number under 8%, that's what.  

Because of their unions it won't be easy to downsize all those government economists, but MItt will get it done.  Just look at his record.  Democrats keep forgetting we run this country.  We built it, not them.  

So here's a new unemployment statistic: there's a 100% probability that government statisticians are going to get fired on Mitt's first day. 

Now there's a number you can believe in. 


  

.