Romney Says Obama Weak, Should Have Invaded Pakistan, Libya, Syria, etc.

Mitt Romney will win tonight’s foreign policy debate with Obama.  Period.  End of story. 

How will Mitt win the foreign policy debate?    Mitt will show how Obama’s weakness in Pakistan, Libya, Syria, Egypt, Palestine, North Korea, Iran, Lebanon, Cameroon, Thailand, Lichtenstein, East Timor, Anglia, Kenya, Poland, Bermuda, The Cayman Islands, etc., has severely damaged America’s stellar reputation as world leader.   

“Obama will gracelessly brag about taking down Bin Laden,” Mitt said, angrily.   “Obama didn’t do that.  The Seals did that.  A real president would have shot Bin Laden all by himself, danced on his corpse on a battleship, then later in the Rose Garden.”

Mitt gave me the inside scoop the other day when he and I were running with the wolves at the Central Park Zoo.  Mitt also told me that Obama had maliciously squandered the many gains made under George W. Bush’s leadership. 

“Obama should have put boots on the ground in Pakistan, too,” Mitt said, barely suppressing his contempt.  “I would have committed 500,000 troops in Pakistan to get Bin Laden.  Then, I would have sent 100,000 more to secure the compound in Benghazi, Libya, another 200,000 to Syria to do whatever needs to be done there, and sprinkled another 600,000 around the world to teach real respect for American values.” 

“I would have bombed Iran, too, of course,” he added. “And North Korea, too, of course.”   Of course, I agreed.  That goes without saying.

When I asked Mitt if he was concerned about adding a couple more trillion to the deficit with all these boots on the ground, he reminded me, a little curtly, that “when it comes to American values, no price is too high to pay.”

I had to agree with him on that one.  Liberty, you know. 

Mitt Romney and "Mission Accomplished"

I loaned Mitt Romney my George W. Bush “Mission Accomplished” belt buckle for the debate on Tuesday night, but I’m not sure if he wore it. 

Although Mitt showed his usual strong disregard for the liberal niceties of debate – liberal rules designed to keep Republican power in check – he didn’t interrupt the Marxist moderator anywhere near as much as he should have.  Nor did he intimidate Obama as thoroughly as he did in the first debate.  

No, something wasn’t right about Mitt on Tuesday. 

There is another possibility, and a dreadful one at that.  It’s possible that Mitt did wear “Mission Accomplished.”  What I’m thinking now is that it’s possible “Mission Accomplished’s” powerful force field might have somehow conflicted with Mitt’s own force field.  

There could have been some kind of “neutralization” effect.  Here's what I mean: In the same way that two wrongs don’t make a right, “Mission Accomplished” might have played havoc with Mitt’s undisputed, world champion Master Debater mojo.   

The power of the “Mission Accomplished” buckle is well-known.  In a 3-hour period, the buckle secured me a position on the board at Nieman Marcus and a flight back to New York from Dallas on Donald Trump’s private jet.

But I guess I didn’t think that in the wrong hands, or more accurately, around the wrong waist, “Mission Accomplished” could have untoward effects.   It never crossed my mind that “Mission Accomplished” could be anything but a powerful force for good.

I hope Mitt isn’t mad at me. 

I hope I get “Mission Accomplished” back soon.